haha....

although i told my friends im happy. i can only share this to you! my little anime world... (haba ng pangalan niya) well, just now i told my friends i was happy. but recently im not although "kilig" seems happy it's not! only a part of it is happy not through out!

gosh! it's hard to be far away. far away from your friends. when you don't know what's happenin to them. you wanna go there and help them but how can you? by the time your there the issue is done and gone. so how can you help when your far away? even though to you it doesnt seem it, it hurts. well, just try and go in y situation. where your friends are wanting help but how can you? your far away from them. if you go there do you think you would be able to help? no! it would be too late and a waste of time. you go there to see someone cry, but now you see someone happy. a friend that was already helped by someone even though you said you were going to be there for her or him? isn't it just painful. even though those persons doesn't know that you wanted to help, they would still remember in their times of sorrow. my meaning of friend is to always be there with a friend, through happy times and through bad times. whatever it takes. by this i don't know how can i be a friend to them if i can't even be with them even if it's just a simple "how are you?"

every time i feel one of them is sad and the other is comforting her or him. i feel "hey! i can help! wait for me?!" but they can't! they can't cause the person whose suffering would suffer longer. so how can i help. i am being left out and being replaced! do you know how much this hurts. i already know what it feels being replaced and i don't want to feel that feeling again. i want to help them! that's my why of showing that i am your friend. to help you in your times of need. so, if i can't do that? does that mean i'm not your friend? i dont want that! i want to be your friend. so can i be!? just say it to me! what's happenin? im there. can't you feel my prescence?!? it's really hard for me and no matter how i look for a good side, there's none! this feeling i feel is a total sadness. not even a single chuckle would be caught on action. cause im your friend and i dont want to loose that! i dont want to. call me, ofline message me, text me whatever it takes just do it! if you really want to be my friend you would do this! cuase im feeling left out here! with you people talking about something i don't know then in a moment your crying and i don't even know how to help. how can i be my ideal friend to you? so, please i don't want to be an emoshit bastard again! i just recovered like a day ago. i really wanna keep my current relation with you! i realy do!